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Showing posts from June, 2022

Casting Crowns

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These two songs have been the background music of my journey.  First coming to my attention during the summer of 2017 as I wrestled and  wrote , they spoke salve over my heart. (See lyrics below.) God of All My Days , continues to speak to me of the security that I find in the arms of God even as I question and wrestle.  I don't have to be right or have it all figured out for Him to love me and for us to be in relationship. One Step Away still speaks to me today of how any of us - in any given moment, on any given day, no matter where we are or what we have done - are truly only a one step turn from falling into the hands of our  loving God and Father. God of All My Days  ~ Casting Crowns I came to You with my heart in pieces And found the God with healing in His hands I turned to You, put everything behind me And found the God who makes all things new I looked to You, drowning in my questions And found the God who holds all wisdom And I trusted You and st...

Focus Our Rethinking

“Transformation happens by the renewal of our mind. If we have never changed our minds, then maybe we are actively resisting the work of the Holy Spirit.”   ~  author undisclosed to prevent bias For the past several years, my thoughts have been consumed with serious wonder and deliberate contemplation of the majesty of God. Astonished at who I continue to understand Him to be, I marvel at His splendor, His incomprehensible forgiveness, His lavishing love, and His selfless plan of redemption.   I do not marvel at God because He is the All-Powerful Being. He assuredly is! Eternally existing as the universal superpower, however, is NOT what makes Him majestic, stunning, awesome, and worthy of our worship. What determines His worthiness is who He is in character and nature and what He is like - all His attributes. Previously, I was confused about the true character of God, which resulted in artificial worship.  It was the expected and natural thing for a Christian to do,...

~So What?

  How has any of this made a difference? A dear friend asked me how any of this – the reading, wrestling, studying, dialoguing - has made a difference in my life .  Let me tell you ! 1. I am coming to see God as more Christlike in character . Because I am seeing God through the eyes of Jesus and the way that He saw God, I no longer question or doubt His love for me . God’s steadfast love towards me has completely baptized my soul in assurance and security .  Knowing that His love never changes, that He is incapable of ever loving me more or less than He already does, secures me in a way where I no longer must dwell on whether my flesh is pleasing Him or disappointing Him .  Living in the security of my Heavenly Father’s affection has freed me to live in a way where I am no longer affected by the constant anxiety of not knowing how God feels about me in any given moment . His love comes from within Himself and is not ch...

~Part 4 - My Continuing Journey

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  My Glass Wall – SHATTERED! Part 4 – My Continuing Journey It has been nearly a year since I first stood upon the threshold of this oasis – a place where fear, doubt, and shame dissolve into peace and trust, where rigorous conformity melts into restful beginnings of transformation.    I am very much still captivated by my God.    My veins literally pulse with the thrill that the triune God would conspire within Himself to love us in these ways, to enter our depravity, and to make a way for us to know Him, regardless of whether we are hiding in religion or in rebellion.    I am breath taken.    My heart races.    Undoubtedly, I am quickened, and lest you think I’m “tripping,” I’m on nothing besides an occasional cup of coffee.    It is my growing comprehension of God’s love for ALL people, however, which has caused me to fall passionately in love with Him - the depth of which I previously was without a clue.    I...

~Part 3 - My Re-Thinking

  (Update - BEFORE YOU BEGIN READING Part 3, know that I heavily considered whether to include this section or not, or even whether I should rewrite parts with my thoughts as they are now.  It has been many years since I first   wrote   and as I continue to grow and re-think, I have some alternate views already.  I understand that the things we believe have come about by various interpretations and it is not my intention to be divisive.  These are simply some of the conclusions from that year and because they are sort of the meat of my story, I have decided to include them.) Glass Wall – SHATTERED! Part 3 – My Re-Thinking Many aspects of my faith continue to perplex me, but regardless, I have increasing mental clarity.    Furthermore, where I previously sat guiltily tongue-tied, I can now ecstatically talk your ear off, if you’d let me.   Rather than shutting down and attempting to slink away, c ontroversial topics now perk up my ears and hea...